Nothing To Furnish The Rooms

07/05/24

I came across a technique that aims to boost mental health by building a safe internal place, full of good memories. It has various names but I’ll use Memory Mansion.

So the idea is, you map out your ‘mansion’, based on a real building or an imaginary one, and in each of the rooms you place a memory that holds positive connotations for you.

When you’re struggling mentally, or emotionally, you can take a walk around your Memory Mansion, choose a room and sit with the positivity that’s in there.

Good idea.

I felt inspired.

Some three days later I have to admit to myself that I can’t come up with one single memory, from childhood to present day, that is purely happy. Every damn thing I come up with with is tainted with shadows of anxiety, tensions, or knowledge of what happened afterwards.

That’s pretty tragic.

Now, I’m not saying there was never a happy moment in my life, I’m sure there’s been plenty, but I can’t pull any to the fore which are pure.

This is not a pity party, it’s a sad observation.

‘Unadulterated joy’ has now been added to the list of things I intend to experience. Multiple times.

I’m not sure how to attain that yet as the standard suggestions of finding a hobby you love, or making new friends, or trying new activities… none of it’s particularly where I’m at right now.

I guess – I hope – that if I can first remove the scarring, trauma and sadness of past experiences, there will be far more space inside me for the joy and goodness of life.

It feels that if I can do that, then will be the time for me to start opening up to new experiences and encounters.

I will not end up a sad, lonely old lady with no memories to sustain me.

No matter how many personal ‘issues’ I turf up during this journey, they’re getting dealt with and let loose.

I will come out the other side of all of this as more, not less.

Jeez.

JP