Music Was My First Love

16/07/24

Earlier this year I was pining, missing the love I’d once felt for music.

Over the ensuing months, I’ve tested the waters now and again, with varying results.

Obviously I’ve been very careful what I’m listening to as I don’t want to be triggering unwanted memories. This has lead me to explore more, finding I like tracks from genres I wouldn’t have opted for previously.

The first ‘success’ was putting together a suitably energetic, heavy beat playlist for when I’m exercising. On the whole, not music I’ll listen to when I’m just pottering around the house, but perfect for motivating me to push a bit harder on the exercise bike.

Still, I wasn’t really feeling the musical love.

I did once find myself in the bath, with Katy Perry’s Roar on repeat, belting it out along with her, not caring if the neighbours hated the noise.

That was a good evening.

However, my aural entertainment has, on the whole, consisted of educational and self-help podcasts.

Until today, when I was chopping salad for dinner, and listening to a history podcast. They played the teeniest snippet of Elvis Costello’s Oliver’s Army.

It felt like this whole other person, inside my skin, went on alert.

I had the urge to search out and listen to the full song.

So I did.

And I sang.

Then I listened to more Elvis Costello: Pump It Up, then (I Don’t Want To Go To) Chelsea, and Watching The Detectives.

And I sang, and I danced.

I danced in the kitchen!

I’m so freaking happy.

Who would ever have thought it would be Elvis Costello who got my groove going again?!

From Elvis, I went to Eminem – Lose Yourself, JLo/Pitbull – On The Floor, and finally (only finally because my dinner was ready and I needed to stop singing and dancing so I could eat it), The Vaccines – Teenage Icon.

An eclectic mix for sure, but what these tracks all have in common is that I didn’t, or couldn’t, listen to this stuff when EH was around.

And they make me want to move and sing.

I carried on building a happy playlist while I was eating my dinner, which included some two-tone, and some country – both genres I used to love but haven’t freely listened to for some 20 years. There’s only sixteen tracks on there at the moment, but it will grow.

It feels so good to reconnect with music – my first true love.

For today, I’ll leave you with this: Lost Frequencies & Bastille – Head Down

JP